How many times have you seen or heard this reference? You may be more familiar with one than the other depending on the person. I have been on both sides of the spectrum throughout my life, but I can honestly say the one with the upper hand may have some second thoughts about the person on the receiving end. What does this even mean “help up” and “hand out” you ask? A hand out is something given freely. A help up is providing someone with the necessary tools or info to accomplish a task and be successful.
If you have ever wondered about what end of the spectrum you are on, or if you ever had a hand out, think about when you were a child under your parents roof. You got handouts all of the time! Free food, clothes, allowance, toys, your own room and the list goes on and on. Remember when you could just walk up to your parents ask for a dollar and your mom or dad would reach into their wallets and grant your request? That my friend, is called a hand out!
Now, I’m sure you haven’t always had a hand out because if your parents were anything like mine, as soon as I was old enough to get a job they were running me down the highway to work. My parents would encourage me to apply for jobs, assist with interview questions, and help me with my resume. That was definitely a help up and it taught me to be independent, self reliant, and how to work hard for what I wanted in life! Nowadays no one wants to work hard and earn their keep. They expect people to just throw opportunities at them without them lifting a finger.
It’s our job as parents, friends, and family to quit being enablers. Let’s start setting others up for success by giving them a help up! There are too many resources and valuable information floating around for people not to be successful. Here are some helpful tips for helping someone without necessarily enabling them. I’ve actually jotted these down for future reference myself. Share knowledge with them (inform them about what processes you went through ex: what worked or didn’t work for you), find out what’s valuable to them (what are their desires or goals?), share your resources (websites, applications and other useful tools), inform them about an opportunity (keep a lookout for possible job openings or opportunities of their interest), and provide honest feedback (constructive criticism is important). Remember, “Someone’s success can be on the other side of a help up, but if you choose to constantly give handouts, failure could be on the other side.”
Uninterrupted Thoughts 