Mental Check

This is not one of my typical blogs where I talk about a subject, elaborate on it and leave you with some helpful tips to improve your life. This post is more personal. I’m not sure if you noticed, but it’s been about two weeks since my last blog. I’ve been kind of in a funk lately and had to take some time off for my mental well being. It’s not that I didn’t have any material to write about, but I just needed a moment for myself! Have you ever seen those memes going around where it says, “check on your friends” and it has some description explaining why? Well, recently I’ve been that friend! I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster for a minute now.

You may be wondering what’s wrong with me and to tell you the truth, I can’t exactly pin point the issue, but I can say it’s been a list of events that have triggered my discontent. Some of you might be thinking, “but I’ve seen you post stuff on social media and you’ve seemed fine!” That’s true, but I’m not one to display my personal business for the world to see or at least I try not to! You never know what someone is going through behind closed doors! Those demons they have to face at the end of the day when they log off of their computers and take their masks off. I’m sure you’ve heard stories where a person seemed fine, but then all of a sudden your hear about them committing suicide or having a nervous breakdown. I’m not saying that mine has been to the point of self harm, but I have been having some ugly thoughts lately! With this whole pandemic, working from home, virtual learning with my children, cooking, cleaning, not getting enough rest, dealing with my own personal issues and others, it has taken a toll on me!

I thought I would be the winner in this “Survivor” series, but sadly, I’m not! Mental health is so important and it shouldn’t be taken lightly! You never know what series of events will be the “last straw that broke the camels back” for you. I’m the one who was excited to work from home and be able to care for my family, but this mama needs a BREAK! I didn’t realize the affect everything would have on me until I started getting emotional about EVERYTHING and it even started trickling down into my marriage! I started second guessing conversations, actions, and things that I felt internally. Things I normally would not question or get upset about started to take a turn for the worse! I didn’t explode into a million pieces on the outside, but on the inside, I felt myself crumbling. I tried to put on a brave face and pretend like everything was fine, but it wasn’t. I was having feelings of emptiness, isolation, and uselessness. Recently, I told some close family members that, “this isn’t me!” and I knew it wasn’t, but I just couldn’t find my way out of that mental and emotional prison!

You’re probably wondering if I’m back to 100% myself and the answer is no, but I’m a lot closer than I was! I still battle with certain things on a daily basis, but with God, prayer, the support of family members, and my husband/children, I’ve been doing a lot better! I wrote all of this to tell you that sometimes it’s okay, not to be okay! We all have been in a state of mind where we didn’t know what to do or we didn’t feel like 100% ourselves. Never be ashamed to tell someone that you are not well! Also, if you do notice someone is not being themselves reach out to them and make sure that they are okay! Sometimes it is something as small as, “I’m here for you”, “I’m listening”, “Are you okay?” or “What can I do to help?” that can make a world of difference for those who are troubled. It could be your mother, father, sister, brother, friend or neighbor who is crying for help, but don’t know how to get it! Like the saying goes, “check on your friends” because they just may not be okay!