What I’m about to tell you is going to rock your world, but in a good way. At least I hope it does! I mean, this revelation freed some uncertainties and gave me a little slice of peace. This may even help save you from hurt feelings in the future. It opened my eyes to understanding other people’s responses or “lack thereof” to certain situations and also showed me why I need to stop taking things so personal! I have my sister, Ashley to thank for this one! First, I want you to think about this statement, “You can’t pour from an empty cup” and figure out what that means to you specifically. For me, the first thing that comes to mind is that an empty cup has no value or use. Think about being thirsty on a hot summer day and someone hands you an empty cup for you to drink from. Do you think that empty cup is going to quench your thirst and provide what you need? Of course not! That’s the same response from a person who has nothing inside to give you.
You’re probably still a little confused, but I will break it down for you. Have you ever heard of a story about someone’s mother, father or anyone not in particular growing up with a tough upbringing? What I mean is that they may have been abused, neglected, or not shown the love that you would expect most children to have growing up. So in turn, they don’t have anything to give you. You may be wondering “Why doesn’t my mother tell me she loves me?” “Why doesn’t my father hug me?” “Why doesn’t my parents/family pay attention to me?” “Why is this person or that person so emotionally unattached to circumstances that have caused me pain?” Well, as I said earlier, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”! You can’t expect someone to give you something they don’t have! Trust me, you may be thinking “but I know plenty of people that grew up with terrible upbringings and they still show love, compassion, and etc”. That may be true for SOME people, but a lot of times when someone has gone through their own trauma and haven’t healed from it, they can’t process in their minds that their actions may have caused some discord in their relationship with you.
I know it hurts because we as humans only want to feel valued, loved, respected, accepted and noticed. We expect people to treat us in the same manner as we treat them, but I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way! Sometimes people are so numb from the pain that they’ve endured over the years that they can’t feel the pain they may have caused you. It may come as a surprise, but if you actually sit down and learn someone’s back story, it will reveal to you why their emotions, reactions, and responses to certain people are cold or even dead.
I have put together a few tips to help deal with expecting something out of people who don’t have anything to give: take the time to understand their story or past experiences they’ve gone through (this will help you better understand why they treat you like they do), express your concern to that individual(s) and let them know how you feel in a non-confrontational way (sometimes people don’t even realize that they’ve hurt you so shedding light on the situation may make them more aware), accept the fact that not everyone will treat you how you treat them (you have to be okay with that and can either accept it or not), figure out what you want out of that relationship with that person (is this person in your life permanently or are they seasonal), and quit expecting an apology that you may not get from that person. Remember, “Although you can’t pour from an empty cup, you do have the opportunity to fill it up!”
Uninterrupted Thoughts 