Forgive Me, Forgive Me Not

What is forgiveness? It’s a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you whether they deserve it or not. Have you ever struggled with forgiveness? For me personally, I struggle with forgiveness not just with other people, but with myself as well. Sometimes I even question the choices I have made in the past during certain situations. Why did I allow that to happen? Why didn’t I speak up? Why didn’t I fight back? Questions that I torment myself with, but can’t seem to answer.

I didn’t realize to what extent mine was until I read this article that talked about the signs of unforgiveness. Some of those signs were: burst of anger, petty and impulsive, compulsive, keeping list of offenses, hating yourself, desperate to make someone understand how you feel, not taking responsibility for your feelings, and a few more. Of that list, I could say I identified with about half if not more. I know some of you are going about your daily lives believing that you don’t have an issue forgiving people, but sadly, you just might. I’ve heard a lot of people joke about being petty, I myself, am guilty. Did you know that being petty is a sign of unforgiveness? If you are a tit-for-tat kind of person then you, my friend, definitely struggle with forgiveness! Our world is full of unforgiveness and it’s eating away at it’s core. Unforgiveness is toxic and unhealthy; it literally causes stress, illness, depression and an unhappy life.

How can you learn to forgive? I’ve also researched and found a few suggestions: turn a new leaf (what happened physically in the past needs to be let go and not remain in our mental future), align yourself with God (all of your troubles and issues need to be given to God; let go and let God), never go to bed angry (those angry, bitter thoughts and feelings can manifest into your subconscious and do more harm than you know), instead of pointing the finger at others learn more about yourself (why do you allow the actions of others to negatively affect you), hold yourself accountable for your actions (what role did you play in the situation), remove bitterness from your mind (whatever is causing your harsh feelings remove it), practice kindness over being right (if you’re in an argument put your ego aside and humble yourself instead of trying to prove a point) and stop looking for a reason to be mad (quit setting yourself up to have an argument in the first place). Someone once told me that when you forgive someone it’s more for your peace of mind! Stop allowing people to live rent free in your mind. Let go of your ego and do yourself a favor by giving yourself peace. At the end of the day forgiveness may be the key to unlocking your blessings!